Why being in a long distance relationship isn't all that bad.

When people who don't know me learn about my boyfriend, they usually respond the same; with shock, confusion and a laundry list of questions. No, I’m not dating an ex-con and no, he’s not made up.

I’m simply just in a long distance relationship.

And when I say long I mean really, really long – like London Heathrow to Singapore Changi and 6,000 miles long. Although now I’ve moved to Australia things have gotten a little better.

I just turned 19 when it happened. After a year and a half together, my boyfriend got a university place in Singapore and I still was at university so had no chance of going with him. Before this our relationship was still long distance but we were in the same country and I knew this was going to be a lot different from what we were used to.

It was a great opportunity for him, and naturally I was happy for him yet deep down I knew things were going to change drastically.

No, it’s not perfect, and sometimes it gets really f*cking difficult, but I don’t regret a day of it and here’s why.

You learn how to enjoy being alone

Although I might be on my own, I’m never actually alone. Sure, my boyfriend can’t physically comfort me or take me out on dates, but he’s never more than a quick message  away – that’s if we both have wifi!

While I value my time alone, I’ve never been more grateful for my boyfriend’s virtual presence; he’s my safety net and my rock after a hard day.

He and I both have more time for me time. In the last few months of our relationship and my move to Australia, I’ve learnt that I love to travel alone, I am an introvert with outgoing qualities and learning to define my own success is one of my biggest accomplishments.

It has taught me to depend on myself and to enjoy solitude.

You communicate better

Many people fail to understand why I’m in a long distance relationship and ‘wasting’ my glory years — my 20s — with a guy who I barely see.

They can’t seem to understand a relationship based on verbal communication rather than purely physical. They doubt the future of our relationship and our ability to stay faithful to one another.

Yes, I’ll admit, it’s really hard to date somebody almost exclusively over Skype (although very interesting with poor WiFi connection). However, in a long distance relationship you learn to appreciate the time you get to speak to each other. Our schedules never ever match. He’s asleep while I’m getting up and when I’m busy he’s free and vice versa – it gets extremely frustrating. But when you are able to spend once a week or so Skyping with them it makes it all worth it and I’ve learnt to appreciate the little things and a quick, simple conversation goes a long way. Even being sent a Snapchat or a spontaneous WhatsApp message gives me butterflies. (It’s a sad life I know)

You have time to advance in your chosen career or experience something new

They say your 20’s are the time to explore and I couldn't agree more. The time apart has allowed me to try new things whether it will be a new hobby or career path. It gives a chance to cram your diary full of opportunities and make something of yourself and start fresh.

We need this time to make mistakes, We need to learn what we like in a job and what we don’t. We need to learn what school didn’t teach us. Most importantly, we need the time to invest in all of this.

While my boyfriend is away studying and working long hours for a highly established business, I’m designing away and experimenting with my skills (while studying hard of course!)

I get the time to do things I never normally had time for. As a design student I can make time to go to workshops, design lectures, exhibitions/events.

We have learnt that being apart has given us more time to explore and focus on our individual skills.

An excuse to travel

The cuts in budgets, the diets of rice and pasta and the overtime at work does eventually pay off.

I've learnt to look at it from a positive perspective. I've had the amazing opportunity to visit Singapore (3 times!), we have both traveled South East Asia and he is coming to Australia. What a breeze!

I’m not going to conclude with ‘Distance makes the heart grow founder’ because quite frankly i’ve heard it way too many times.

What I will say, is that being in a long distance relationship has taught me more about myself than I have ever known.

Not everyone is built for a long distance relationship and I, for sure, am definitely still not. However, I have learnt to change how I react to the situation. Learning how to make the distance work has been invaluable.